Don’t EVEN Get Us Started ...
http://sunfunfestival.com/images/2007/sandcastle2.jpgSo you wanna get lippy, Ed Jarrett?
Yeah, you – the guy who built the 32-foot sandcastle in Casco, Maine this past weekend, and is now on a hell-bent media crusade to convince the masses that yours is the “real” world-record holder instead of Myrtle Beach’s 43-footer.
Take that “yo mamma” smack somewhere else, pal. You don’t stand a chance on this one.
BUT … since we’re in the giving mood here, we’ll be happy to provide Mr. Jarrett and all other Myrtle Beach non-believers a quick tutorial on “How to Tell if You Have a Real Sandcastle.”
It loosely follows George Carlin’s formula for determining “what is/what is not a sport.” While anyone with a plastic bucket and shovel from Dollar Tree can tell you what a sandcastle is, we’re here to advise you of what it’s not.
For instance, it’s not a real sandcastle if …
- It attracts more bears and moose than seagulls.
- Its idea of “walking distance from the ocean” is measured on the Forrest Gump scale.
- You can use cross-country skis to get to it.
- Among its host town’s attractions is “a golf course.” Show me plural, and we’ll forget this one.
- It can’t withstand a tropical storm.
- The AP story about it puts your competitor’s city in the dateline.
- It takes you more than four years to build it. (If we don’t think ours is big enough, we just build a bigger one 12 months later.)
Had enough, Mr. Jarrett? If not, we’re here all week, month and year.
Bring it on, big boy …
Well lookie-lookie here. Before you rip your shirt off flexing your sandcastle muscles, let me drop a little bit of information about the real, current Guinness World Record holding 31’7" tall sandcastle we built up here in Caso,Maine. I read your blog entry and it is just ridiculous how you slam the champ. He allready has the previous title and upon further research I didn’t see your name anywhere associated with the world’s tallest anything with Guinness. Furthermore, we built this sandcastle to help raise money for Camp Sunshine, a children’s camp that pays for children with termanal illnesses and their families to come up to a beautiful part of the country and experience a fun time and forget about what ailes them. Let’s not forget that, OK. Second, Take a look at our sandcastle, then take at look at yours. Ours looks like a real castle complete with mote, dragon, and gargoyles. Yours looks like a second rate pyramid that the ancient Egyptians wouldn’t even entomb the pets of a pharoh in let alone admit building. It only took Guinness records a few days to recognize ours as the world tallest…not weeks or months. If you are sooo sure is the tallest, then why will it take month’s for them to recongize it? Maybe you guys should ask Guinness to create a new catagory for Myrtle Beach, World’s Tallest Sand-Pyramid. I bet you guys would hold the title for years. But on a serious note, why don’t we squash all this and join up together and do something huge and possible involve a charity as well. Chew on that for a bit and get back at me.
J. Bluck
Senior Carving Apprentice
Maine Snow and Ice Foundation
P.S. Wait till you see our fall indoor specticle. Check our website for details.